CTV Scoops Up cbc.ca, Redirects it to Pr0n

In another stunning move of incompetence in regard to protecting its assets, CBC neglected to renew the registration on cbc.ca, one of the most visited Canadian websites. The registration lapsed last month without CBC or anyone else noticing. CBC's domain registrar, RegisterDotCom, has a long standing policy which allows long term customers to keep their domains even after expiration when they expect the domain to be renewed. However, once a domain's registration has expired any third party can bid on the domain, the former owner of the domain then has thirty days to renew before it is sold to the third party. CTV shrewdly bid on the site on May 10, 2008, and was granted the domain on June 9, 2008 when CBC failed to renew the domain within the thirty days following its expiration. Within 24 hours visitors to cbc.ca found themselves redirected to multiple hardcore pornography sites which would pop up uncontrollably in their web browser. CBC was initially left scrambling trying to explain what had happened, initial reports blamed hackers until a reporter checked who actually owned the domain and found it registered to a PO Box. Further digging uncovered that the PO Box was rented by CTV and that CTV had somehow obtained the cbc.ca domain. CBC immediately cried foul and filed an injuction in with the Ontario Superior Court of Justice to get the domain back. CBC claims not to have been notified by its domain register. RegisterDotCom claims to have notified CBC multiple times leading up to and after the domain's expiration but no emails were returned. A Freedom of Information request revealed that the emails sent to CBC by RegisterDotCom were filtered out by CBC's spam filters.

This gaffe follows hot on the heals of CBC Sports loosing the rights to the Hockey Night in Canada theme song. In that case CBC was again the victim of CTV buying a valuable asset when negotiations between the CBC and the song's owner fell apart. It is also rumoured that CTV has recently purchased Mr. Dressup's tickle trunk in a CBC asset auction.

Club Monaco Discovers New Shade of Gray

Club Monaco set the fashion world abuzz when it announced that its Winter 2008 line will be based on a new shade of gray it recently discovered in its Toronto fashion lab. The new shade has been trade marked as Gréy. The announcement swept through the high fashion houses like storm clouds and even three days after the anouncement it is still a topic that industry insiders say is being talked about. Club Monaco's chief designer Marcus Deuteranopia said of the new shade, "This season's new line will be entirely based on Gréy, it will be the new face of Club Monaco." Many fashion insiders heralded Club Monaco's announcement with praise and astonishment. French designer Jean-Paul Gaultier when told of the the new shade of gray remarked, "C'est impossible!" When he was subsequently told it was Club Monaco who had announced it he exclaimed, "Ah, Club Monaco! C'est possible!"

Gréy marks the one hundred and seventy fourth shade of gray discovered by Club Monaco. When Deuteranopia was asked how Gréy would change Club Monaco he replied, "We see Club Monaco as a pyramid, we have black and white at the base upon which everything is built upon. However, with Gréy we now have the ability to build the pyramid to the dark side of the moon, which we believe will be revealed to be a very similar shade as Gréy."

Although Club Monaco has mostly been showered with praise there has been limited criticism from a few vocal fashion cynics. One such cynic, writing for the National Post remarked, "This so called Gréy is nothing but a play on the same tones and styles that Club Monaco has been peddling since its inception." Although the critics have been few and far between Deuteranopia still addressed them, "No, I completely disagree with the critics, Gréy is fresh, it is young, it is hip. I have so much confidence in Gréy that I believe Gréy could be the new black."

Descrepency in New Orleans and Israeli Funding a Matter of Economics Claims Whitehouse

Today the White House dismissed criticism regarding the discrepancy between funds allocated to rebuild New Orleans after hurricane Katrina and funds sent to Israel for defense, saying it comes down to a simple matter of economics. Using the White House's own numbers $6.4 billion have been allocated to rebuild New Orleans since the deadly hurricane. While this week the White House announced plans to send $30 billion to Israel in defense aid. This lead to an outcry across the county claiming this was an unfair allocation of funds. Not so, responded the White House press secretary Tony Snow, "The difference is in New Orleans we are spending money to provide clean water supplies, food, reconstruct adequate shelter and city infrastructure. The money we are giving to Israel is for guns, bullets, tanks, helicopters and planes. Clearly these implements of war are more expensive than food, water and shelter. So, we need allocate the funds appropriately." Snow went on to say, "It is government policy that every person in New Orleans needs access to eight cups of clean drinking water per day. So far that has been costing $0.25 per day, per person. While, on the other hand, in Israel each tank fires on average eight rounds per day. Each of those rounds costs $300. Do see now why there is a difference?" Snow was then asked a question regarding the major expenses in New Orleans that go beyond relatively cheap human necessities, like rebuilding the New Orleans dike system, he again dismissed the concerns citing economics. Snow said, "Yes, we realize there are major expenses in New Orleans, but there are also major expenses in Israel. We have already ear marked $1 billion for rebuilding the levee system in New Orleans, or more precisely a "wall" to keep out water. However, again, this is where economics come into play. The "wall" being built in New Orleans is only to keep out water. While the wall Israel is building is meant to keep out people, a much more cunning adversary than mere water. That is why we have ear marked $5 billion for the wall in Israel."

Many Democrats initially opposed the plans to send the funds to Israel, but most have changed their tune. Foremost, most of the money that will be given to Israel will be spent on American made war materials. The current administration has ensured that those contracts go to factories located in Democratically controlled areas. This makes voting against a bill that will keep jobs in their area political suicide for a Democrat. In addition, many Democrats realize the delicate balance the United States maintains in the Middle East. If large amounts of money are cut off from Israel the large amounts of money already sent to Israel's neighbors, like Egypt and Jordan, could put the entire military situation in the Middle East out of whack.

The bill is expected to pass unanimously in Congress.

Entire Blog About Being Too Busy To Blog

Internet blogger James Aiken's entire blog is various excuses about being too busy to blog. When Aiken started his blog, www.thesmokingbow.com, he envisioned it as a record of life along with insights he had about various topics along the way. Also as a way to keep family members scattered across the country abreast as to what was keeping him busy. The title of Aiken's blog, "The Smoking Bow", was a reference to his favourite weapon in video games, a bow and arrow, and a homage to his favourite website, www.thesmokinggun.com. Aiken started the blog in January 2005 as a New Year's resolution after being inspired by an anonymous coworker's witty blog that had circled around the office recently that made light of office politics at Rexon Insurance where Aiken worked as a claims adjuster. Aiken purchased a copy of the blogging software Movable Type for $200, registered his domain for $19.95 and paid local web hosting company Altrus to host the blog for $16.95 a month. All told the blog has cost Aiken $525.05 to date.

The blog started out very promising with Aiken stating in his first post that he planned to blog at least once a week, more often if something interesting happened, and that he was looking forward to using his blog to keep family members around the country informed with what was going on in his life. Immediately following his first blog post he emailed his entire address book the URL of his blog and altered his email signature to include a link to the blog. Aiken immediately regretted sending the URL to his entire address book as he inadvertently emailed it to his boss and basically ruled out blogging anything critical about his employer, which was something Aiken had planned to do

Undeterred, Aiken posted another entry on his blog one week and one day after his first post. Already breaking his self imposed rule of posting at least once a week. This post proved to foreshadow blog posts to come. It talked about how Aiken had intended to post to the blog within the week but had become "tied up at work". This post, like all posts to come, stated that Aiken had been busy since the last post but only vaguely alluded to what was making Aiken so busy, in this case work, but offering no specific details.

It was not until February 13, 2005 that Aiken made another blog post. This post, his longest to date, again mentioned that he had been busy lately and had no time to post updates. He also mentioned that he and long time girlfriend Amy Jones were planning on going out for dinner for Valentine's Day, but never stated where they were going out for dinner. The post also indicated that he planned on posting more frequently to his blog. This would be the first of many unfulfilled promises to post more regularly to his blog.

Aiken's next blog post came April 27, 2005. This post again cited unknown activities that were keeping Aiken busy, a brief mention of the improving weather and brief playoff predictions for the upcoming Stanley Cup playoffs. It would be almost six months until Aiken's next blog post.

The September 18, 2005 blog post, aptly titled "Been Busy", this time more specifically blamed a source of Aiken's busyness. The season Summer was blamed for keeping Aiken away from his blog for so long. Aiken alluded to a two week vacation in July as another cause, but gave no further details of the vacation other than it was spent on the beach, the location of the beach remains a mystery.

The next post came on December 13, 2005. Again the post cited Aiken's continued busy schedule and primarily blamed a holiday this time, Christmas, for the infrequency of blog posts. The post also indicated that Aiken would be traveling to visit family for Christmas but neglected to mention where exactly he was traveling or on what dates.

Aiken didn't post again until January 12, 2006. This time there was no direct blame of the source of Aiken's busy life, it merely mentioned that he had "been busy lately". He talked about the family members he had seen at Christmas, but again neglected to mention where he had actually spent Christmas. Aiken also resolved to post more this New Year.

January 12, 2006 was Aiken's last post to his blog. The source of his most recent blogging absence is a mystery and to the three people who regularly check his blog: his mother, father, and the Google web search indexing robot, it is dearly missed. To date each blog post has cost Aiken $87.51 making it one of the most expensive blogs per post on the Internet.

Harper To Offer Cabinet Positions to Entire Liberal Caucus

Stephen Harper has expanded his cabinet from twenty-six to fifty-seven. However, none of those positions have immediately been filled. Prime Minister Harper indicated that the positions will be filled when they have found appropriate candidates. Harper then strongly hinted that he felt those candidates would come form other parties. Some pundits have speculated that the additional thirty-one cabinet positions are being used to lure more Liberal MPs or MPs from other parties into the Conservative caucus. Assuming all thirty-one new cabinet positions are filled with MPs from other parties the Conservatives will be able to form a majority government. Liberal, NDP and Bloc Quebecois leadership have cried foul that the move is a dirty trick to attempt to form a majority government and an affront to democracy. Harper maintains that the Conservative Party is an umbrella party and anyone is welcome, that seems to include MPs that were elected under other party banners mere weeks prior.

The Conservatives offering cabinet positions to members of other parties follows in the wake of former Liberal David Emerson switching parties days after the election to join the Conservative cabinet. Some of Emerson’s constituents are calling for him to resign and run in a by-election, Emerson has indicated he has no plans to do so. It is unclear how Emerson would fare as a Conservative in his ridding, the Conservative candidate finished third behind the winning Liberal, Emerson, and the second place NDP candidate. Conservative leaning news papers who supported the Conservatives in the election have offered muted commentary, with none condemning the move. This is in stark contrast of the papers long and inflammatory comments after Belinda Stronach crossed the floor from the Conservatives to the Liberals, also becoming a cabinet minister.

Political Scientists warn that the move could increase cynicism in an electorate that is already brimming with it. University of Toronto Political Scientist Kevin Barns said, “The Conservatives got elected on a platform of anti-corruption and cleaning up politics, many Canadians voted for them because they thought the Conservatives would behave differently than the Conservatives. When the Conservatives get a elected and immediately start playing dirty politics it will not be surprising if this further alienates voters.”

Softwood Lumber Dispute Threatens Entertainment Exports

Canada has raised the stakes in the softwood lumber dispute with the United States and has threatened to stop the flow of talented comedians south of the border. If the plan is implemented Canada would stop exporting comedians until the United States removed duties on Canadian softwood lumber. Hollywood producers are worried that without a reliable supply of Canadian comedians the American comedy industry would collapse.

The American comedy industry has long relied on Canadian comedic talent to fuel its ever growing thirst for laughter. Prime examples are the overwhelming success of Mike Meyers and the Austin Powers franchise. Also, the highest paid actor in Hollywood is Canadian comedian Jim Carey. The United States was not always so dependent on foreign comedy. In the past the United States was able to domestically produce enough comedians to fuel its entertainment industry. However, as the American entertainment industry grew and American comedic resources became harder to find a greater dependence on foreign comedy developed. This reliance of foreign comedians was first exemplified with the British comedy embargo of 1973. For years American television networks had padded late night television schedules with cheap imported British sitcoms produced by the BBC. The cheap supply of British sitcoms ended when the British government drastically cut the BBC’s budget and the quality and quantity of British sitcoms available for import was drastically cut. The result was a shortage of good late night comedy bringing about the prevalence, even today, of late night infomercials. At the time many experts predicted the end of American comedy. That is until Canadian Lorne Michaels started “Saturday Night Live” in New York City and saved the American comedy industry. During the last two decades the American entertainment industry has come to rely on foreign comedic talent and specifically Canadian talent.

Rumours are also circulating that if shutting off the supply of Canadian comedians does not result in a break in the American softwood lumber duties Canada could employ what has been referred to as “Operation Ferme la Bouche”. The plan involves invoking an obscure and controversial law left over from colonial times. The law allows the Canadian government to revoke anyone’s citizenship if that person is determined to be a “detriment or plague to Canadian culture from actions committed in a foreign country.” The person effectively becomes a persona non grata. It is rumoured that this law would be used to revoke Celine Dion’s citizenship making it impossible for her to leave the United States thereby perpetuating her reign of terror on Las Vegas and American adult contemporary fans.

Maple Leafs Sign Guy Lafleur

The Toronto Maple Leafs of the National Hockey League have signed retired fifty-three year old hall of fame member Guy Lafleur. Initially, speculation was that Lafleur would have some sort of front office position, those in attendance were shocked when it was announced that Lafleur was to play for the Leafs. This makes Lafleur the oldest player in the NHL by far. The announcement was held at a Maple Leaf press conference at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto. At the press conference Lafleur was presented with the number ten jersey he is to wear. This marks the second time Lafleur has come out of retirement to resume his hockey career.

The Maple Leafs have long tried to build championship teams using aging hockey veterans rather than building on young talent, this strategy has not even produced a Stanley Cup final appearance. The signing of Lafleur marks the most extreme example of the strategy. Anonymous sources close to the Leafs organization, speaking on the condition of anonymity, have shed light on the signing. Maple Leaf general manager, John Ferguson, after watching the Tampa Bay Lightning win the Stanley Cup using a core of talented young players from the Quebec major junior league wanted to follow suit. However, rather than send scouts to scour the Quebec league, Leaf management wanted to sign already proven Quebec talent, even if those players were a little past their prime. Initially, Ferguson demanded to sign arguably the greatest player to come out of Quebec, Maurice “Rocket” Richard. Ferguson reportedly refused to believe staff members who informed him that Richard had died in 2000. It took a signed letter from the estate of Maurice Richard and a copy of the death certificate to convince Ferguson that the legend was in fact deceased. Apparently, Ferguson thought that the Maple Leaf’s arch rival Montreal Canadiens were somehow standing in the way and preventing the Leafs from signing Richard. With Richard not being a possibility, Ferguson turned his attentions to living Quebec players. However, because most Quebec born players are brought up die hard Montreal fans with an ingrained hatred for the Maple Leafs most refused to even entertain the idea. Lafleur was reportedly cool to the idea to start as well, but when a contract in excess of two million dollars a season was offered along with a donation to his prostate cancer foundation it turned out to be too good to refuse.

Lafluer had a spectacular and storied career with the Montreal Canadiens, he retired from the Canadiens in 1985. Lafleur was inducted into the hockey hall of fame in 1988. Lafleur then came out of retirement in 1988 and played for the New York Ranger and Quebec Nordique until 1991, when he again retired. Lafleur was famous for being one of the last players to not wear a helmet, because of his age and a grandfather clause he was able to ignore the mandatory helmet rule. His long hair and attractive appearance made him a favourite amongst the ladies. Lafleur still plans not to wear a helmet when he skates for the Leafs, even with the prevalence of high sticking in the modern NHL. Lafluer has reportedly been training all summer and cut his cigarette consumption back to two packs a day, the level it was at when he won five Stanley Cups with the Montreal Canadiens in the 1970’s.