In the most shocking announcement in Canadian political history Ralph Klein, premier of the province of Alberta, and Stephen Harper, leader of the federal official opposition, have announced they are now married. The news was broken in a joint press release. Klein and Harper become the first elected politicians to enter a gay marriage. Ironically, the recently passed bill C-38 that legalized gay marriage in Canada, allowing the two to marry, was vehemently opposed by both politicians. The press release also reaffirmed both politicians continued stance against gay marriage. The apparent contradiction was justified by the insistence that their private lives “in no way have any bearing on the political views of the political parties they represent.” Commentators across the country were stunned and most have refused to comment until more public statements are issued by Klein and Harper. Klein and Harper were unavailable for comment as they are honeymooning in Niagara Falls. This is the second marriage for both. Apparently, Klein’s marriage to Colleen Klein and Harper’s marriage to Laureen Harper were both secretly dissolved before the two could be married. Neither former wife was available for comment.
The gay community has also been baffled by the announcement and did not appear eager to have the two conservative politicians in their ranks. EGALE, a Canadian gay and lesbian lobby group, has said it was not sure what to make of the announcement. An EGALE spokesman said, “Well I am glad their true identities are finally revealed and I wish them happiness. However, I think that it is time to review their opposition to gay marriage, it simply doesn’t make any sense in light of this.” Members of Harper and Klein’s own parties have been less supportive. In fact, Klein’s provincial Progressive Conservative Party and Harper’s national Conservative Party had emergency caucus meetings and have refused public comment. Anonymous sources with access to the meetings have described them as tense. Although, Klein’s caucus did take some time to discuss an appropriate wedding gift.
One person who has not taken the news well is long time Klein advisor and confidant, Rod Love. Love released a tearful video statement where he lamented the fact he was left in the dark about the union. “I wonder how someone who says they care for you can turn around and stab them in the back. How could you do this to me?” a tearful Love said. The Love tape has fueled speculation into the true nature of him and Klein’s relationship.
Prime Minister Paul Martin did hold a press conference. Martin said he wished the new couple well and said he looked forward to congratulating them in person. When asked if he stood to gain politically from this announcement Martin had to visibly fight back a smile. Martin indicated that the personal lives of his opponents should have no bearing on his political fortunes.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Justin Trudeau and Ben Mulroney to Meet in the Octagon
Justin Trudeau and Ben Mulroney issued joint statements today announcing their plans to compete against each other in the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC). This will be the first time either has competed in the UFC. This announcement follows a falling-out between the two former friends. The two are planning to use the UFC to settle a personal feud. Unnamed sources have indicated that the feud started over a love triangle involving Catherine Clark, daughter of former Canadian Prime Minister, Joe Clark. Trudeau and Mulroney were apparently both dating Clark, unbeknownst to each other. Mulroney and Clark had what Mulroney thought was an exclusive relationship. One weekend, on a break from filming Canadian Idol, Mulroney showed up unannounced in Montreal to pay Clark a surprise visit. Mulroney entered a trendy Montreal night-spot and discovered Clark and Trudeau making-out on the dance flow. Eye witnesses say Mulroney then went into a rage, turning over tables and threatening Trudeau. Trudeau responded by challenging Mulroney to a street fight, police were called before it escalated that far. However, Mulroney’s quest for vengeance led him to challenge Trudeau to a boxing match. Interestingly, both fighters insisted on not wearing headgear, and as a result no Canadian amateur boxing association would sanction the bout. This is how the UFC got involved.
The UFC is a no holds barred fighting tournament where opponents square off in a chain-link octagon to fight. Compared to boxing there are very few rules and most combat techniques are allowed. Including: punching, kicking, kneeing, elbowing, and grappling. UFC has a reputation of being more brutal and dangerous than boxing. The fighters only wear small padded gloves rather than the larger traditional boxing gloves. A referee is in the octagon at all times controlling the action. The referee’s function is mostly to look out for infractions such as head butting or biting. However, often the referee’s only action is to stop the fight when one of the fighters becomes unconscious. Fights typically are shorter than boxing, lasting only three rounds. Many don’t last that long as one fighter will become incapacitated and the fight will end. A fighter may also “tap out” where by he signals to the referee that he wishes to give up the fight, the referee will then step in a stop the fight, this rarely occurs. Fights do occasionally go all three rounds and in that case a winner is determined by ringside judges. The UFC has a large following in the United States where its pay-per-view events often attract large audiences.
Initially the UFC had trouble finding a venue that would sanction their event. Venue owners seemed unwilling to host a fight where the main event’s fighters were entirely inexperienced. Many promoters cited high insurance costs to allow complete novices to fight. That was until officials with the Mohawk First Nation at the Kanesatake reservation near Montreal, Quebec, expressed interest. The Kanesatake reserve is most noted for the famous standoff with the army in 1990. Residents of the Kanesatake reservation are reportedly very enthusiastic to see at least one of Canada’s recent Prime Minister’s children take a beating. Band member Earl Littlebear said, “What I’d love to see is that Mulroney’s chin get a flattened.” Shirley Oliver, daughter of the chief looks forward to seeing two of Canada’s most eligible bachelors in person, “Ben is cute, but I see him all the time on Canadian Idol, I haven’t seen Justin since he gave that speech, I hope he’s still cute.” When asked if she worried that one of the two may lose some of their good looks because of the fight she was unworried, “Well, I don’t think either is much of a fighter. It will probably be more of a wrestling match.” Pete’s Gas, the reservation’s busiest gas station, has become the place where locals have been gathering to discuss the upcoming bout. Pete’s Gas is also the unofficial sports book for the event; early odds have Trudeau as the 7-5 favourite. Speculation at Pete’s gas indicates that Mulroney has the stigma of being a homosexual television host to over come. Trudeau has not faired much better. Bettors feel he has his father’s air of superiority and could use “a good swift kick”, according to one Pete’s Gas customer.
The event will be held at the Kanesatake recreation centre, the final date is still to be determined. Event organizers expect seating to be around three thousand and for the event to sell out quickly. More uncertain is how the event will be televised. UFC events are typically pay-per-view but the interest of the general public has been so high that with the help of a major sponsor the fight may appear on Canadian network television. The CBC has shied away from televising the event, citing commitment to NHL hockey. TSN, a subsidiary of Bell, has also been cool to the idea of televising the event. Surprisingly, CPAC, more known for its political coverage than sports, has been very interested in the television contract for the event. A CPAC spokesman said, “We see this event as a way to bring people who don’t normally watch CPAC to our channel. The broadcasting this event as being inline with our typical programming, as both contestants have a political connection, but will bring in a whole new audience that normally wouldn’t watch CPAC.”
It is reported that Catherine Clark will be at the event, although it is unclear who she will be supporting. Ben’s father, former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney, is said to be hoping to come if his health allows. Justin’s won’t have the support of his father, former Prime Minister Pierre Elliot Trudeau, as he passed away in 2000. Justin’s mother, Margaret Trudeau, a know pacifist, is said to be boycotting the event.
The UFC is a no holds barred fighting tournament where opponents square off in a chain-link octagon to fight. Compared to boxing there are very few rules and most combat techniques are allowed. Including: punching, kicking, kneeing, elbowing, and grappling. UFC has a reputation of being more brutal and dangerous than boxing. The fighters only wear small padded gloves rather than the larger traditional boxing gloves. A referee is in the octagon at all times controlling the action. The referee’s function is mostly to look out for infractions such as head butting or biting. However, often the referee’s only action is to stop the fight when one of the fighters becomes unconscious. Fights typically are shorter than boxing, lasting only three rounds. Many don’t last that long as one fighter will become incapacitated and the fight will end. A fighter may also “tap out” where by he signals to the referee that he wishes to give up the fight, the referee will then step in a stop the fight, this rarely occurs. Fights do occasionally go all three rounds and in that case a winner is determined by ringside judges. The UFC has a large following in the United States where its pay-per-view events often attract large audiences.
Initially the UFC had trouble finding a venue that would sanction their event. Venue owners seemed unwilling to host a fight where the main event’s fighters were entirely inexperienced. Many promoters cited high insurance costs to allow complete novices to fight. That was until officials with the Mohawk First Nation at the Kanesatake reservation near Montreal, Quebec, expressed interest. The Kanesatake reserve is most noted for the famous standoff with the army in 1990. Residents of the Kanesatake reservation are reportedly very enthusiastic to see at least one of Canada’s recent Prime Minister’s children take a beating. Band member Earl Littlebear said, “What I’d love to see is that Mulroney’s chin get a flattened.” Shirley Oliver, daughter of the chief looks forward to seeing two of Canada’s most eligible bachelors in person, “Ben is cute, but I see him all the time on Canadian Idol, I haven’t seen Justin since he gave that speech, I hope he’s still cute.” When asked if she worried that one of the two may lose some of their good looks because of the fight she was unworried, “Well, I don’t think either is much of a fighter. It will probably be more of a wrestling match.” Pete’s Gas, the reservation’s busiest gas station, has become the place where locals have been gathering to discuss the upcoming bout. Pete’s Gas is also the unofficial sports book for the event; early odds have Trudeau as the 7-5 favourite. Speculation at Pete’s gas indicates that Mulroney has the stigma of being a homosexual television host to over come. Trudeau has not faired much better. Bettors feel he has his father’s air of superiority and could use “a good swift kick”, according to one Pete’s Gas customer.
The event will be held at the Kanesatake recreation centre, the final date is still to be determined. Event organizers expect seating to be around three thousand and for the event to sell out quickly. More uncertain is how the event will be televised. UFC events are typically pay-per-view but the interest of the general public has been so high that with the help of a major sponsor the fight may appear on Canadian network television. The CBC has shied away from televising the event, citing commitment to NHL hockey. TSN, a subsidiary of Bell, has also been cool to the idea of televising the event. Surprisingly, CPAC, more known for its political coverage than sports, has been very interested in the television contract for the event. A CPAC spokesman said, “We see this event as a way to bring people who don’t normally watch CPAC to our channel. The broadcasting this event as being inline with our typical programming, as both contestants have a political connection, but will bring in a whole new audience that normally wouldn’t watch CPAC.”
It is reported that Catherine Clark will be at the event, although it is unclear who she will be supporting. Ben’s father, former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney, is said to be hoping to come if his health allows. Justin’s won’t have the support of his father, former Prime Minister Pierre Elliot Trudeau, as he passed away in 2000. Justin’s mother, Margaret Trudeau, a know pacifist, is said to be boycotting the event.
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